What to Do?
I took a huge step and am getting my teeth whitened. Moreso than a financial investment, this is a mind investment. I've told myself that I cannot spend this kind of money and continue to purge. I'm trying to repair the color of my teeth, not make them worse.
The first few days were easy, but yesterday it was almost unbearable. I've had a weekend from Hell with just being busy, busy, busy. We're talking pulling off luncheons for 150+ in a hotel in Boston, having no water due to remodeling, working, and just so much more. Let's not forget the phone that hasn't been working consistently since Wednesday. Yesterday at work I just wanted to purge. That was nearly impossible. The problem with not purging is that this weight on my body is just going to get larger if I don't do something. Maybe I'm just so filled with self-loathing that I can't live without harming myself. Does that make sense?
After all the accomplishments I had this weekend, I just wanted SOMEONE to say, "Wow! You really pulled off quite a bit!" But no one did. I had my mother and a close friend tell me I do too much, and then my husband just was there. I think he could care less what I do anyway. He's in his own world. None of them know about this blog, and I'm trying like crazy to keep it that way.
I've starting to make some henna so I can do mehndi on my arms tomorrow night. I find that so relaxing. I add lavender oil to the henna, so the smell alone just makes me unwind while I paint mehndi. Usually I'll do my wrists and feet, but I think this time I'm going to do the entire arm from the elbow down. I'm a pretty conservative dresser (think Old Navy and Gap meet LLBean), so the mehndi usually comes as a surprise to people. Even when I do my wrist, people don't notice it right away. I like that.
And thanks for my blogging friends (like Esperanza) for thinking of me in my absence! Besitos para ti! :)