But it's there!

Giving up food as a crutch is a hard thing to do. It's always there. And if you don't have it in your house, you can run out and pick up three candy bars for a dollar at the supermarket. No one will pull you over for driving with a candy bar in your mouth.

Yesterday as we drove by McDonald's I saw a woman exiting the drive-through. She was shoving fries in her mouth. I don't mean a fry here and there and no one will know that I snitched - she had a fist full of fries, shoving them into her mouth. At that moment I was disgusted, repulsed, angry, and simpathetic. I'm sure that woman didn't think anyone saw her, but I did. And all those times I've thought I've gotten away with the eating, the bingeing, and the purging, I probably haven't.

Tonight while watching the Olympics I noticed that many of the women figure skaters have yellow teeth. I couldn't help but think how many of them suffer from bulimia. Can you imagine trying to stay that thin, that muscular, and that driven all the time? Just the thought of it scares me. At the same time, though, I ask myself, "Why haven't I been strong enough to achieve what they have?" Why haven't I had the determination to be a success? Why is it that I cannot overcome my own weaknesses and succeed? What is my tragic flaw?